[[ cried again when woke up dis mornin i tink of him and i started cry. i stared at the ceilin n tinkin n tinkin den cover the blanket over moii. den i keep on lyin on the bed n imagine ting. after all i stopped all moii cryin and jux few mins ago i cried again after moii sis went out n i m alone at home. i was so angry n i cry out bcoz moii sis suppose to bring moii to buy clothes but den she need to go highlight den tot tat she will bring moii to compass point to look fer clothes bcoz moii mum ask her to bring moii go buy clothes i suppose moii mother oso gave her the money den she say going to rivervale mall bcoz the salon moved there den she sae she nort going compass lorr she going to rivervale mall. rivervalee nothin buy lorr. wart i goin there fer to sit at the salon n wait ferr her ferr1 hr plus doin nothin wastin time there. den i beri angry den she went out i started to cry n imagine tings again. she is like very wart lorr. den last year moii burfdae moii bro pass her money to bring moii eat swesen she oso nvr bring lorr. i feel life is now so meaningless to moii. i am alwaz alone. if i go she sure cum back and nag moii sae beri clever rite go out everitime go out den anyhow go. haix. if i noe she nort bringin moii go see clothes i would tell moii mum she goin to highlight bcoz if moii mum noe she going to highlight hair she sure nag at her den she hate it lorr. but den she ask moii nort to tell lorr. bcoz when she highlight den moii mum noe moii mum wont nag at her long. even when she keepin the desk rite moii burfdae present from moii frenx n senior she oso wan to scold lorr she sae wart put there oso nvr use bcoz it was a piggy bank.luckily i take it back. dis few daes trying to log in msn n use interent oso cant stupid pc is so laggin den i cant update the bolg entry. now feelin giddy n gastric lorr. yesterdae eat 1/3 of porriage ferr lunch until now still haven eat anythin onli a small portion of bread. now still cryin when i tink of *him*. haix. dunno wart to sae oso. yesterdae went to cca in the mornin ferr trainin den after tat rush home to change n bath n eat kunch den meet janice at her downstair den went to orhard ferr cip. den when alight at amk mrt station de bus stop saw li ping waitin ferr du bo den i n janice walk 1st den after tat when waitin ferr traffic du bo reached n we went together to orhard n clement was waitin at the orhard mrt station den went to the meetin place to take attendance den we were asked to do fund rising by sellin balloons or cards @ $2 each. moii , wan ning , khai yen , serene , li ping n janice was one group. den walk around den beri tired walk ferr abt 4 hrs den b4 go home moii n janice still walk to heeren den nothin to buy we went back to hougang heartland mall by then was already 930 den went to this fashion to look around den i bought nothin janice bought a t-shirt. den by then it was 10 den all the shop is going to close den oso nothin to buy to eat den went home without eatin dinner. was so tired. haix. now feel like going to compass n heartland trying to ask shi yun go bcoz she oso wanna go den waitin ferr her reply if yes den i bath n meet her. at least i can realese moii stress. it so stress. den when i with frenx i tryin to stay happy n make some jokes den tok lorts n non-stop. but if alone or with one i will den dun care dun care.haix. i stop here. ]]

.a.k.n.i.f.e.h.a.d.s.t.a.b.t.h.r.o.u.g.h.m.o.i.h.e.a.rt.a.n.d.l.e.a.v.e.a.d.e.e.p.h.u.r.t.z.

.l.i.f.e.i.s.m.e.a.n.i.n.g.l.e.s.s.t.o.m.o.i.

.m.o.o.d.l.e.s.s.

.o.h.b.a.b.y.w.h.y.w.o.u.l.d.y.ew.h.u.r.t.x.m.o.i.s.o..lo.ng.

.ss.h.u.ll.i.n.g.

i love you* Sunday, January 30, 2005